Sunday, May 25, 2008

Roses




I love to look at roses

The blood-red ones the best.

They caress at my fingers

And stand out from the rest.


The yellow ones much brighter

Than the soothing whites.

As poignancies incarnate

Play succor to dull nights.


My gaze remains enraptured

My mind assail all gloom

When I treat my senses

To blood-reds in the bloom.


Some give in to romance

To few it just unveils

Some tender mysteries hidden.

To me, “It’s Something Else”.


Its fragrance makes for Heaven

Fills my half-drunk mind

Of all that was born lovely

Its name I cannot find.


Its shade a red of passion,

A Carmine left undone.

At places a deep scarlet

Left baking in the Sun.


With invite in each petal

And intrigue in its breast

Too lazy to awaken

Too frail to be at rest.


I know not if its earthy

Or Angels in exile.

I only feel a timid joy

When ‘Roses’ make her smile.



photo: gettyimages.com

Monday, May 19, 2008

Killer You

Hold my hands

Come to me

Sing to me in trance

While candle burns

In thinning light

And magic does its dance

Drown a while

Breathe for life

And see death face to face

Murder me

If eyes could kill

But stay in my embrace.

The violin strings

That filters pain

Tear them down with glee

Wail with pain

Smile that smile

You often smiled at me.

The breeze is strong

The limbs are weak

A dizzy numbness leads

To hollow roads

And empty hearts

The passion in us pleads

A lilt in steps

Hair askew

Kohl smudged in your eyes

In cold of night

We warm our hearts

Make love midst lurking lies.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

The Song of the Dead


Vultures.

I see them swooping down on carcasses left behind by men.

Merciless. Irreverent. Hungry.

Dogs fight for stray limbs of half-burnt humans.

Letting go a shrill cry of frenzied thirst

Not a sound.

Not a sound to be heard.

Hawks nibbling at lifeless eyes.

Empty sockets stay gaping blankly at the night.

Stars too afraid to shimmer.

The moon takes refuge somewhere safe

Clouds- a shade of sinister black.

Life weeps somewhere far.

Like a child too afraid to touch the dead

I wait behind the curtain of silence.

Not even a prayer

Not a prayer on my lips.

Not a hope on my mind.

A spectator.

Only a silent spectator.

Helpless.

Still.

Infirm.




Bones rattle out in the open again.

Sooty at being half burnt.

Bury them!

Bury them deep somewhere

I hate the smell of death.

No incense, please

No flowers.

Death is not glorious here.

Death is not a feast.

Children sing at a far off place

I can hear their song.

Or is it some hymn of death.

Are all the dead awake

To see the living fare

A flux of life snuffs out the cold

from the womb of the night

Like that unborn child

in silent despair

It grudges life to death

Somewhere.

Again, I hear whispers.

Soft, soothing like death.

They are here.

Or am I just hearing things.

Oh! I forgot to breathe for a while.

Awe in awe of fear.



Sighs.

That rend the air

Ricochet twice from end to end

In mourning of a great demise.

No lip will ever arc in a smile.

No flutter flap inside my heart.

I died a painless death that time

When I kissed your lips.

When you drew my blood.

In an endless trickle

With greed in your eyes

I saw death in them.

Let the dust-storm lull.

Let it all begin for once.

Let the rot run riot in your veins too.

Let my ghost die in some peace today.

And float somewhere far away.

To a place where I may avenge this day.

Someplace- I may meet you half-way.




photo: gettyimages.com

Friday, May 09, 2008

Aiming for that Straitjacket

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Paranoid |||||||||||| 50%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 58%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 70%
Borderline |||||||||||||||| 70%
Histrionic |||||||||||||| 54%
Narcissistic |||| 18%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 66%
Dependent |||| 18%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 50%
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Thursday, May 08, 2008

The Movie that I am

Arriving at the End

A 'Grand Viva' is supposed to span all 42 subjects taught in the past 4 years.
A panel of 4 or more Professors from one's Dept. is supposed to supervise this process of covert humiliation with a considerable amount of pleasure, trying to impress upon you every moment how you have wasted their (and your own of course) 4 long years by just being 'there'.

Our seniors had defined Grand Viva for us in exactly those terms. It is
'The Ultimate Ordeal' known to any final year Engineering student.

Expectedly, I handled the prospect of facing such an 'encounter' with the attitude that characterizes the 'Spirit of Denial'. (One cannot possibly attempt to do anything otherwise due to the sheer bulk of the task. Even the mention of it is pure intimidation)

"Duck at every fiery bouncer and pretend that it never was".

- And it worked.

All questions were negotiated with logically interpreted 'attempts' and as a result there were not invectives or assaults aimed at us but pleasantries which were exchanged while leaving the room.

With that college had come to an end for us. For me.

Four years, which at the start of the 1st semester had looked like a lifetime were now complete. 4 years which were spent in making friends and keeping friendships, meeting people and greeting lessons, clearing stances and fearing supplementaries were now over. Life will never be the same for any of us. Workplace has its own set of values and own pace of proceedings. The easygoing life of college which was only partially disturbed by the advent of the Semesters will forever be missed. Everyone now feels "time just flew". But in retrospect it glided in its own sweet pace, ferrying life, colliding with every little hindrance in the way, disturbed at every little curb where momentum of languor was broken to the need for change and instilling in its own ancient language of silence the lesson of evolution, if only to the observant.


I, characteristically, am not the sort of person who wears his heart on his sleeves. Emoting is not my forte. I believe somethings are just too private. Yet, I cannot help but wonder at how life with all its uncertainties unleashes itself once in a while and everything around you transforms. The people who you grow to be so familiar with and fond of disappear, the backdrop of events shift and again you are just a character, just a number or just a name suspended in the turbulent waters of uncertainty sculpting the face of future. Then again you start afresh, with new tools and zeal. To build a new family of familiars around you and lose yourself in handling present pressures while the contours of the past is slowly washed away into a bleak semblance of forgotten intimacies.

Life will be a prolonged lull for most of us now, before again the spark of vitality enthuses us to action. But then this fallow too is a necessary requisite, I feel. To sit down and ponder once in a while where life's heading is not such a fruitless exercise after all. It won't make philosophers out of us or change the course of our lives or anything. But if it serves the basic purpose of inspiring introspection and answering the 'Why-s' that have till date fashioned our choices it would be a brief session of enlightenment not many would be averse to.



p.s - With an indefinite period of joblessness staring starkly at me at this moment of time I am of the intention of populating my blogspace with more such random posts. I am also deliberating on a different blog for all the poems. A poem a day might just keep the vacuum away.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Who am I

And they tell me I am him :


What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Me and 'emaciated'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats what I call 'e-Humour' !

Saturday, May 03, 2008


Children of the sunshine play

In my garden strewn with hay

Trampling all the virgin grass

Unknowingly they make my day.


I, sometimes, extract a glee

From the frolic flowing free

In my heart of hearts to know

That myself they will not see.


Still they guess a vigil wait

Till they walk out tired, late

I see some of them steal a glance

Past my forlorn, rusted gate.


At times when they are at a game

Going through the tried same

I busy myself fending off

The urge to know some of their names.


In my eager hunt for peace

I find a solace in their ease

Of handling little hurts at play

As envy capers accomplice.


This evening at my window seat

Life does seem so incomplete

Not to mingle with the grass

That tickles all those tender feet.