Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Other Life


Joy in silent spurts of life

Dilutes bitter grief and pain.

Here with hunger rodents thrive

Crumbs at night but uncertain.


With rags at hand to hold their shame

And tools all battered, broken.

They wander like some herd of game

Their fate in ambush beckon.


Sluice of filth that brimmeth by

Cheap liquor in their veins

Spectres of nude children cry

Pang of Hunger Pains.


Wet and flooded, Grime and blight

Dance in orgy of this life.

Trading gloom for neon lights

The Slums in slumber just survive.




6 comments:

ad libber said...

Your poems get sadder by the day.:(

I am too obsessed with grammar hence the third paragraph pains me :P. Also beckon and broken is a bit difficult to rhyme.
the last paragraph is good.
Rounding it off with the ubiquitous line. The use of similes and metaphors are appreciable.

ad libber said...

*is appreciable

What's In A Name ? said...

@Ritika- I believe I have taken some poetic liberties with the grammar. What I would dearly love is to have you put a finger on it. You can give me the apt(-er) form if possible too. I would be mighty glad.

And Yes, That 'broken-beckon' did rhyme strike me too. Couldn't come up with anything better. :(

ad libber said...

I should not be saying anything at all.. I totally suck at rhyming.
ok third para, being the busybody I am, it should ideally have been nude child cries and also pangs of hunger, pang of hunger is not incorrect but does not seem appropriate.
hmm How would it sound if you make it plural? children instead of child? Though the poetic beauty might get lost though.

What's In A Name ? said...

'Child-> Children' point taken. Good point. The other suggestion would be too taxing to the already established rhyme.

Noisy Autist said...

thats one vivid picture you have drawn.